So I haven’t been sleeping well. I have been having trouble falling asleep & staying asleep. Even though I wake up many times during the night, 4 o’clock seems to be the magic hour of my sleep deprivation. Almost every morning I wake up at 4 and stay awake for almost an hour. This morning (at 4) I started wondering if there was something special about 4. Is my subconscious preparing me for an event that will happen at this time?
I seem to recall a movie where the main character woke up every night at the same time. In the movie this was actually the time the character was going to die. Oohhh, scary stuff. So after frightening the be-jezus out of myself imagining mob hits, home invasions, and freak tree accidents, I decided I should think positively. Maybe there is a good reason to get up at 4. Here are just some of the possibilities:
• I’m going to be hired as the manager of a new Dunkin’ Donuts coming to town. Everyone knows the donut maker has to get up early
• I’ve somehow become linked to the Michael Jackson death inquiry. It might be the only time I can slip past the hoards of paparazzi to get to the grocery.
• Maybe I’m going to meet a new best friend who lives in Europe, and she loves to have long chats while drinking her morning tea.
• 4 o’clock might be the magical hour for running fast and if I could only convince myself to get out of bed, I would start having miracle workouts.
• I might become a hero when, as the only person awake at 4, I put out a fire, save a baby, stop a robbery, or perform some other act of heroism in the neighborhood.
Well, that’s all I have at the moment. I’m sure I’ll think of more.
Probably tomorrow…
at 4 o’clock…
Sigh….
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
No Excuses & No Apologies
No Excuses & No Apologies
I will never claim to be a grammar wizard. Now, I can tell the difference between a dependent and independent clause. I can diagram a mean sentence, and my subjects and predicates usually fall into line. But I also know I still make plenty of grammar and punctuation errors. Some I make on purpose, and I don’t apologize for those. But as I’ve been reading more blogs, emails, texts, and notes on social sites, I’ve realized that there are a few grammar mistakes that drive me CRAZY! Most are rules that I teach to eight year olds ever day, so I don’t think there is any excuse for getting those wrong. On that note, here is my take on the general state of grammar in the year 2009.
First things first, the things I will not apologize for…
I am in love…with the ellipsis…
I don’t know how it happened, but I have fallen head over heels for them. I’m not really sure why, but they’ve seemed to creep into my writing over the past several years. Lately I can’t even seem to write a text without including one of these three dot wonders.
Maybe it’s because I write like I talk. I just bang out the ongoing dialogue in my head. As I write I hear myself narrating the text. So when I pause, cock my head to the side, roll my eyes slightly upwards and think, I often insert an ellipsis. To me, an ellipsis indicates thinking. So obviously I’ve been thinking a lot more before I speak. I also find myself using an ellipsis to end sarcastic remarks. (Not that I ever make any of those…) How else do you show sarcasm? I’ve been trying to think of some kind of symbol that I can trademark for that.
The other way I show a pause in my writing is by using a comma. I’m a comma criminal. I know I use too many, and often in the wrong places. Whenever my internal narrator pauses (for slightly less than ellipsis time) it triggers my right ring finger to strike the comma key. I didn’t realize how many unnecessary commas I used until I got one of my favorite professors in college. She loved to cross them out with her red pen. I would get papers back with tons of neat little red X’s blotting out all my precious pauses. Then I became afraid to use commas at all. Four years of avoiding complex sentences. I don’t know how I made it through. Even after college I was still wary of them. I would try to remember the comma rules and delete the extras. But one day I decided I was over it. I like to pause. I like commas. So, I’ll use them whenever I want to. No apologies… If it bothers you, just pretend like you’re listening to me reading this wonderful blog to you, pausing gently at the commas and more so at the ellipsis.
On the other hand, there are things I won’t accept excuses for. (Oops, did I just end that sentence with a preposition?) These are the homophones. (words that sound the same but are spelled differently) I know they can be tricky, but PLEASE pay a little attention and choose the correct one. If you genuinely don’t know which one to use, I teach spelling every day at 2:00. I’ll save a desk for you. Anyway, here they are… my top three no excuse/homophone pet peeves:
1. Your- There are two. Your and you’re. Your means belonging to you. That is your dog. There is your house. There are your pink fuzzy slippers. You’re means you are. You’re (you are) funny. You’re (you are) not really going to wear that are you? You’re (you are) thinking that I have really lost it.
2. There- Slightly more tricky because there are three: their, they’re, and there. Their means belonging to them. That is their dog. That is their house. Those are their pink fuzzy slippers. They’re is like you’re. It’s two words- They’re (they are) going to the park. They’re (they are) eating seakitten for dinner. They’re (they are) never going to speak to me again after reading this blog. There is the easiest one. It shows direction or where something is. The cat is over there. There is the couch. There is my straightjacket.
3. To vs. too- To is another basic preposition. I’m going to the store. Do you want to come to the party? By now I’m guessing you think I should go to h… Too is used more for expression. There is too much food. That is too funny! I know you think I’ve gone way too far.
Please take note of these, otherwise I may be forced to correct your errors publicly, and that just wouldn’t be pretty for anyone. Print my little guide and leave it by your computer. Then you can refer to it next time you feel compelled to respond to my status update on Facebook.
And one more thing… it’s not punctuation or spelling. Just something else that annoys me. Please re-learn to use your shift key. You know, the thing that capitalizes letters? A key SO important that the keyboard creators put TWO of them on your board, in very convenient locations.
Ok, we can read your writing if you don’t use it, but it’s kind of like not using your turn signal. All it takes is an extra little flick. Sure you can drive/type without it, but that’s just being lazy. And everyone knows how you feel about the guy who doesn’t use his turn signal…
I will never claim to be a grammar wizard. Now, I can tell the difference between a dependent and independent clause. I can diagram a mean sentence, and my subjects and predicates usually fall into line. But I also know I still make plenty of grammar and punctuation errors. Some I make on purpose, and I don’t apologize for those. But as I’ve been reading more blogs, emails, texts, and notes on social sites, I’ve realized that there are a few grammar mistakes that drive me CRAZY! Most are rules that I teach to eight year olds ever day, so I don’t think there is any excuse for getting those wrong. On that note, here is my take on the general state of grammar in the year 2009.
First things first, the things I will not apologize for…
I am in love…with the ellipsis…
I don’t know how it happened, but I have fallen head over heels for them. I’m not really sure why, but they’ve seemed to creep into my writing over the past several years. Lately I can’t even seem to write a text without including one of these three dot wonders.
Maybe it’s because I write like I talk. I just bang out the ongoing dialogue in my head. As I write I hear myself narrating the text. So when I pause, cock my head to the side, roll my eyes slightly upwards and think, I often insert an ellipsis. To me, an ellipsis indicates thinking. So obviously I’ve been thinking a lot more before I speak. I also find myself using an ellipsis to end sarcastic remarks. (Not that I ever make any of those…) How else do you show sarcasm? I’ve been trying to think of some kind of symbol that I can trademark for that.
The other way I show a pause in my writing is by using a comma. I’m a comma criminal. I know I use too many, and often in the wrong places. Whenever my internal narrator pauses (for slightly less than ellipsis time) it triggers my right ring finger to strike the comma key. I didn’t realize how many unnecessary commas I used until I got one of my favorite professors in college. She loved to cross them out with her red pen. I would get papers back with tons of neat little red X’s blotting out all my precious pauses. Then I became afraid to use commas at all. Four years of avoiding complex sentences. I don’t know how I made it through. Even after college I was still wary of them. I would try to remember the comma rules and delete the extras. But one day I decided I was over it. I like to pause. I like commas. So, I’ll use them whenever I want to. No apologies… If it bothers you, just pretend like you’re listening to me reading this wonderful blog to you, pausing gently at the commas and more so at the ellipsis.
On the other hand, there are things I won’t accept excuses for. (Oops, did I just end that sentence with a preposition?) These are the homophones. (words that sound the same but are spelled differently) I know they can be tricky, but PLEASE pay a little attention and choose the correct one. If you genuinely don’t know which one to use, I teach spelling every day at 2:00. I’ll save a desk for you. Anyway, here they are… my top three no excuse/homophone pet peeves:
1. Your- There are two. Your and you’re. Your means belonging to you. That is your dog. There is your house. There are your pink fuzzy slippers. You’re means you are. You’re (you are) funny. You’re (you are) not really going to wear that are you? You’re (you are) thinking that I have really lost it.
2. There- Slightly more tricky because there are three: their, they’re, and there. Their means belonging to them. That is their dog. That is their house. Those are their pink fuzzy slippers. They’re is like you’re. It’s two words- They’re (they are) going to the park. They’re (they are) eating seakitten for dinner. They’re (they are) never going to speak to me again after reading this blog. There is the easiest one. It shows direction or where something is. The cat is over there. There is the couch. There is my straightjacket.
3. To vs. too- To is another basic preposition. I’m going to the store. Do you want to come to the party? By now I’m guessing you think I should go to h… Too is used more for expression. There is too much food. That is too funny! I know you think I’ve gone way too far.
Please take note of these, otherwise I may be forced to correct your errors publicly, and that just wouldn’t be pretty for anyone. Print my little guide and leave it by your computer. Then you can refer to it next time you feel compelled to respond to my status update on Facebook.
And one more thing… it’s not punctuation or spelling. Just something else that annoys me. Please re-learn to use your shift key. You know, the thing that capitalizes letters? A key SO important that the keyboard creators put TWO of them on your board, in very convenient locations.
Ok, we can read your writing if you don’t use it, but it’s kind of like not using your turn signal. All it takes is an extra little flick. Sure you can drive/type without it, but that’s just being lazy. And everyone knows how you feel about the guy who doesn’t use his turn signal…
Friday, January 16, 2009
Dorothy vs. Dracula
A new post of an old story...
Actually it's probably a new story, because I never printed it anywhere, and I don't think I told it to very many people. It's an example of how weird/funny my job can be at times.
2/13/07
It was Favorite Story Book Character Day. I was going to wrap black string around my body and paste on some words so I could be the web, from Charlotte's Web. I thought that was a little weak though. I settled for my 6 year old Dorothy costume. I was disappointed in my creativity, but considering I was one of only two teachers who actually dressed up, it wasn't too bad. It made Friday a weird day though.
I didn't realize how weird until I found myself dressed as Dorothy telling a boy dressed as Dracula, "if you wouldn't call the principal a Stupid Toilet, then you shouldn't call anyone else that either." He just looked at me and started laughing. (Even though the situation was a bit ridiculous, I didn't appreciate this 8 year old laughing at me while I was reprimanding him.) Then he says, "I didn't call him a stupid toilet, I called him a super toilet."
My job is so strange sometimes.
Actually it's probably a new story, because I never printed it anywhere, and I don't think I told it to very many people. It's an example of how weird/funny my job can be at times.
2/13/07
It was Favorite Story Book Character Day. I was going to wrap black string around my body and paste on some words so I could be the web, from Charlotte's Web. I thought that was a little weak though. I settled for my 6 year old Dorothy costume. I was disappointed in my creativity, but considering I was one of only two teachers who actually dressed up, it wasn't too bad. It made Friday a weird day though.
I didn't realize how weird until I found myself dressed as Dorothy telling a boy dressed as Dracula, "if you wouldn't call the principal a Stupid Toilet, then you shouldn't call anyone else that either." He just looked at me and started laughing. (Even though the situation was a bit ridiculous, I didn't appreciate this 8 year old laughing at me while I was reprimanding him.) Then he says, "I didn't call him a stupid toilet, I called him a super toilet."
My job is so strange sometimes.
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